We were terribly lucky. Daniel grasped quickly what the best things in life are. He ate nicely, he napped long hours, and as long as he did those, most of the time he seemed just happy. The grandmas in the other hand... those ladies are high maintenance.
The baby needs to feed every three hours, and the grandmas too need to feed somebody every three hours. To that end, they request a kitchen equipped with the exact same items they have on their own kitchen. That is, finding fresh perejil in Prague, knedliky in Nuremberg, and shame on you! How can you even live without a coffee machine? Why did you have to buy this complicated induction thingy? I just want to heat up water. Water heater? uhmmm.. (read it with a disapproving look)
They also have a number of other additional urges, like complaining about the location, distribution and decoration choices of your flat. Not because it is bad, it is a beautiful place, hon, buuuut instead of a second floor it could be a first one, one street further is less noisy and good massive wood furniture last forever. Although, if we shall listen to grandma number 2 we should go to live somewhere cheaper and greener and she has an old sofa we could use. Daniel's requirements so far are at least possible to fulfill. He just wants Mummy's arms. Any sofa it's ok as long as it can take a bit of vomit.
There are things in which grandma 1 and grandma 2 absolutely agree: The worst think that can happen to Daniel is to have the ears exposed to the air... in April... with 25 degrees outside. Other than that, we should put four blankets around him or letting him naked, bath him every day or once per week, give him tea or not give him breast every time he asks.
Additionally, grandmas bring with them a fair amount of drama. Because you took your grandchild far from them, because you ignore their wise outdated advises, and a few other unknown reasons. Hormones, I suppose.
And I wonder, what happened to the mum that was happy just calling me once every 15 days. Why once she became granny she has to bother every hour? And through all the drama, what Daniel does? He sleeps
viernes, 25 de noviembre de 2011
jueves, 24 de noviembre de 2011
Yes, I read the books. All of them
There is a shelf in my flat filled with books about pregnancy and babies. “Comer Amar Mamar”, “The Pregnancy Bible”, “The Baby Book”, “Baby Owner’s Manual” and “101 things to do before you are five”, to name a few. I read them all, or at least most of them. That's how you do things, don’t you? If you want to learn to program HTML5 you buy a book, or a couple of them, you read them, you put into practice what is written there and voilà! There you are. You are a programmer now.
Only, you get to discover later that for using babies there are just a few commonly accepted instructions. These are the things they teach you at the hospital, and they can be learned in one day, with a few words (I understood few words, since the nurses spoke Czech to me).
-The baby needs to eat often and you are supposed to offer your breast - this is how
-The baby shits as often as he eats and he needs diaper changing - this is how
-You should once in a while put the baby in warm water - this is how
-For a number of other random issues the breast works just fine
And for every other doubt you might have, from "will my baby be disadvantaged if I don’t play Mozart to him?" to "will he hate me later if I don’t use recyclable diapers?" to the very common "what the heck is wrong with him?" you should know that different writers have different views, which translates to "they don't have a clue", and "you are on your own". There you are! You are a parent now!
Congratulations
Only, you get to discover later that for using babies there are just a few commonly accepted instructions. These are the things they teach you at the hospital, and they can be learned in one day, with a few words (I understood few words, since the nurses spoke Czech to me).
-The baby needs to eat often and you are supposed to offer your breast - this is how
-The baby shits as often as he eats and he needs diaper changing - this is how
-You should once in a while put the baby in warm water - this is how
-For a number of other random issues the breast works just fine
And for every other doubt you might have, from "will my baby be disadvantaged if I don’t play Mozart to him?" to "will he hate me later if I don’t use recyclable diapers?" to the very common "what the heck is wrong with him?" you should know that different writers have different views, which translates to "they don't have a clue", and "you are on your own". There you are! You are a parent now!
Congratulations
lunes, 21 de noviembre de 2011
Get the nest ready!
Whenever you decide is time to trade the sweetness of your hedonistic but gratifying DINK (Double Income No Kids) life for the sweetness of a baby smile, or to put it another way, when you decide it is about time to start growing your pension plan, all the clever pinky books say you should get the nest ready.
It is not a good idea, apparently, to move flat or change job. It is probably not a great idea to change partner either, even if the book doesn't say so. Your hormones should give you an uncontrollable urge to mop the floor and organize your DVDs alphabetically, so having to get your living room out of cardboard boxes could turn the fussy pregnant lady into the psycho pregnant lady.
Well, in the last months we did change flat... twice, and we did change jobs, and country, and language, and we didn't change partners, but we will need to marry because of taxes so I will lose my boyfriend and be given a husband. Luckily, I do not have to change surname, although everybody here insists on calling me Frau Knyr... and then laugh.
In the period that goes from eight months of pregnancy to two months of baby we changed everything we could possibly change and hey! It turned out ok! I mean, I don't feel the urge to shoot strangers, keep them in the fridge and make meatballs out of their brains (although the family would save a lot of money, given the prices of stuff in Germany, I can tell you that).
The baby seems ok as well. He travelled three countries before he was able to acknowledge the existence of his own hands and he is still all happy and cute and unaware. I guess we will only know when he is about five and he finally talks and his first words are "Mutti, grandma was right. I really don't know in which language to address you people, you are the Spanish one?"
It is not a good idea, apparently, to move flat or change job. It is probably not a great idea to change partner either, even if the book doesn't say so. Your hormones should give you an uncontrollable urge to mop the floor and organize your DVDs alphabetically, so having to get your living room out of cardboard boxes could turn the fussy pregnant lady into the psycho pregnant lady.
Well, in the last months we did change flat... twice, and we did change jobs, and country, and language, and we didn't change partners, but we will need to marry because of taxes so I will lose my boyfriend and be given a husband. Luckily, I do not have to change surname, although everybody here insists on calling me Frau Knyr... and then laugh.
In the period that goes from eight months of pregnancy to two months of baby we changed everything we could possibly change and hey! It turned out ok! I mean, I don't feel the urge to shoot strangers, keep them in the fridge and make meatballs out of their brains (although the family would save a lot of money, given the prices of stuff in Germany, I can tell you that).
The baby seems ok as well. He travelled three countries before he was able to acknowledge the existence of his own hands and he is still all happy and cute and unaware. I guess we will only know when he is about five and he finally talks and his first words are "Mutti, grandma was right. I really don't know in which language to address you people, you are the Spanish one?"
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