About the dreams

Many well-meaning parents and educators believe that any little thing we do might provoke a tornado of biblical proportions in the life of the child that will end up deciding if he will be a drug-addict or a politician, or both. They think that anything one says might be repeated years after in a shrink’s office. And get stressed.

Dear friends, let’s be sensible. One ice-cream before dinner won’t make him obese and one school or another is not the difference between an astronaut and the guy that walks without pants in the park. How do I know it? I don’t. But every other day I’m told my child will have a great future or will get nuts because of living with so many languages, and I ended up convinced that all those possibilities cancel each other as Feynman predicts, and my child’s destiny will be determined by whomever sits next to him in school. Like it always has been. Dear mother, keep cool. You have no control over your child sitting next to a little phsyco kid. It usually depends on the father’s surname.

If we listen to grandmas, speaking four languages can take you to the UN or to the circus. And it is true. Two legs can take you to Mongolia or to a whore house. The legs come with the genes, but the usage depends only on you. This is what I would like to explain to my child when he is old enough, but with no drama. No wet eyes full of hope that tells “you can be whatever you want, as long as it is a doctor or a lawyer”, none of those cheap self-help slogans that can only do harm.

Yes, you know, I mean those things on the lines of “follow your dream and the universe will conspire to make it truth. Follow your dream or you will have to follow someone else’s. Follow your dream, damn it! Or it will be only your fault when you become a loser stuck in a boring job. Follow your dream and if you have several, better choose one because we all need a dream and if we do not follow that one dream life is meaningless and you will be unhappy and it does not matter if you become master of the universe because your Dream was to be in a professional water polo team and you did not even try it, you failure!”. Well, in general when I talk to my son I will avoid anything that may be packaged in a powerpoint full of kittens and cherry trees. It get's me upset.

The universe helps you, if your dream is realistic and you work hard. The universe will not deny to you that janitor position. The universe is kind! Oh! But your dream is to become neurosurgeon and have a private yacht? And you studied anthropology? Mhmm… says the universe.

If all your life you wanted to be a vet and you have universal free education in your country, congratulations! Your dream may very well become true. But that is not the usual scenario. People do not grow up dreaming of being a PhD expert in optical network devices. However, in order to become one, the universe needs to start working around the time you became three and Sesame Street teach you the numbers. Thanks god many dreams you did not know you had, you found later in life, because of what you planted years before. Some language lessons here, some internship, there, some favor you made for a friend some time… and you find yourself in the middle of something you love. And that is good. Great indeed. Because if one girls dream is to become a Victoria Secret’s angel but she is 1’50 meters tall, and she wears a size A bra, and her name is Fernando, is screwed. Of course she can fight the establishment, and show she is more motivated than anybody, and fight tooth and nail… or she can study something she fancy, maybe become interior decorator, discover some new passion along the way, and still do some underwear modeling for the family on Sundays afternoon.

Yes, baby, you can be whatever you want… you can be Batman if you want to. But you should know that you are going to need extensive knowledge related to mechanics, electrical engineering and general physics. You will also need hours in the gym. And you better get to it because an old fatty Batman is not cool. And by the way, you will need some cash too. So, I would actually recommend, instead of blindly following your dream and look to silly powerpoint slides, that you study, you work, you plant a tree, you get excited about other people’s dreams and make them yours, you get in touch with people that share your dream so it gets bigger, you get someone excited with your own dreams… Because the time of individual dreams is over. A bunch of lonely wannabe Batmans is the saddest thing. However, a team of organized Batmans, each one with specific knowledge, with a design responsible, a personal trainer and a supporting crowdfunding… that is something entirely different.

Well, the truth is, I’m not too concerned about my son’s future. The genes are already there, and with four mandatory languages he should have no problems to make a living out of translating menus for Spanish restaurants in Berlin. Will he hate me for that? Will he blame me for not supporting him? Or instead, for having too big expectations? Will he consider insufficient my efforts to get him into the best possible school? Possibly, like any other child. That’s why I would like to leave record here, in case it needs to be brought up in a shrink’s office. Baby, so you know, your mother was willing to support you without setting unreasonable expectations on you. Mum told you once you could become Batman.