As my ass is getting bigger something really bizarre is happening. It is something that started during the summer but until now I didn't put two and two together. Listen this, for some reason, men feel attracted by pregnant women.
I was three months pregnant and I already had to buy new bras. We were going out and I felt just a little chubby and unattractive but, strangely enough, from all my gorgeous friends I was the only one that picked up a guy that night. Of course he ran like hell the moment he was informed about me and my little alien inside but needless to say, it cheered me up.
I haven't been going out that much lately, since I feel guilty when I force my fetus to hear crappy loud music, but two weeks ago there was a customer party that I needed to attend and when the guys got drunk someone felt the need to make some comment about my shape. It was as polite as you can be when you talk about a future mother, but graphic enough.
During that party I was still wearing my normal, slightly big clothes. Now that is not possible anymore. It is urgent and mandatory to visit a maternity shop and get some pants that can fit this enormous ass. So, I was walking all these curves in another party this weekend with the occasion of Martin's birthday and when the alcohol level got high in the room, Martin's friends also got descriptive.
"You look SO hot!!" "God, you look so, so hot!!" "Jesus, I had to tell you, you look so hot!" Hot? Beyonce is hot. I'm shorter and wider and I have belly. I'm the opposite of hot.
Anyway, what is it? Is it a prehistoric switch that tells them I'm fertile and activates something weird in their brains? Is it just too many starving models around? Or am I surrendered by fetishists?
Pregnancy symptoms: It is not really a symptom, but the moment of elastic waists have come
Mother instinct: The fetus is kicking like he is high on sugar… which is very possible, since I need chocolate every day. I'm a terrible mother, I cannot give me more than 3.
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