Consultative approach

This week we had some consultants coming to the office.

It was really educative. We dressed in formal suits, we worked like slaves, and at the end of the week the consultants presented a bunch of really neat slides. They were full of boxes and perfectly symmetric arrows, saying exactly what we already knew. Very structured, very nice visual. A really good job, everybody agreed.

After that, the consultants created Action Points for all of us and a Timeplan where they foresee the project to finish with no issues at the end of June. Basically the kind of thing that makes a manager wet his pants.

Everything was running perfectly until Thursday, a day before the big presentation. Then, some crazy Spanish lady realized that in order to close the project it was mandatory a certain element, let's call it X, that will not be available until July. When such lady opened her mouth there was silence. I felt sorry about the nice slides. I thought they would need to be teared apart. But then, the consultant grabbed the mouse, draw a small triangle in the middle of the timeplan and say: "well, that means we need X in May". And we were all shocked. He could very well have said: "well, that means Holy Virgin Mary comes down to Earth in May and pat us all in the back". And similarly nobody would have disagreed. Consultants have that effect on people.

Looking at how things are for working mums in Germany, I wonder if there is any way to put all this learning into practice. I imagine myself in a expensive suit in the town hall "we need real gender equality", with the other mums and some slides "you need the baby not to get sick", to my husband "I need you to skip work today, dress like a sexy policeman, put a diamond ring in my finger, a glass of fine champagne in my hand, pleasure me in a number or ways and take the rubbish on the way out"