My mum's kitchen

Guess! Who is the only person in this world that you invite home and first of all tells you that the bed is too close to the floor, the living room has too many windows and you should clean your wardrobes? That is it, your mother! The only person in this world that can criticize even your choice of underwear because, besides the fact that is your mummy and you love her, you know she will take a cloth and make your home and your child spotless.

My mother has been in Nuremberg three weeks and in that time we had the opportunity to hear things like “potatos are too small in Germany”, “what you mean, paying for parsley? In Spain you get it for free in the fish shop”, “food coloring for paella. Ask in the Turkish shop, they will know”, “your freezer freeze too much, you need a non-fos” “¡Congrio! ¡Coooongrio! No way, this girl does not understand anything”. This is of course independent of the country. When she was in Prague we had to hear “¡look, people eat dark bread, like in the war!”, “you can tell this is a poor country, the zebra painting is already fading” and “baf, so much talking about Prague and what do you see? A river, a theater… we also have those in Valladolid!”

Once thing I don’t take too well is that since she became Granma started behaving as if she could cook. Yes, the same person that used to buy omelettes in the bar instead of preparing them home suddenly talks to me as if one of my life goals should be to know if which shop tomatoes are cheaper (Netto, apparently).

My mother and cooking… my mother is the only person I know that can consistently make pasta with tomato uneatable. My friends still remember how patiently she explained them the recipe for a green salad with shrimps. Of course who says shrimps says chicken or boiled eggs… she is a very resourceful woman. She is even able to cook “paella” in twenty minutes and add olives to it (bone included) without any further consideration. However, in fact, that does not bother me at all. To me, growing up it was just exemplary. I learned a woman needs to get a salary in order for her to buy croquettes in the bar and serve them to the family without any bad conscience.

Anyway, truth is that my mother was really helpful all weeks here. She made sure there was something hot in the table every day, for a whole month Daniel has gone to the krippe with his hair brushed and the only downside has been to apologize to the cleaning lady “that lazy girl that does not do anything”. We can’t complain. If it wasn’t for her we would have never noticed we had five glasses of cocktail salsa in the fridge.

Here I leave some recipes from my mom, all of them real life-savers.

Cauliflower with mayonnaise (or oil and vinegar) – Put into a pot with shimmering water one cauliflower, a few carrots and a few potatoes, all of it cut into pieces. When it is fairly soft serve it and add mayonnaise. For an exotic touch, add into the water some instant soup. It is a lot better if you have a pressure cooker, because, how can you live without a pressure cooker?

Black beer salmon – Put into a pot with simmering water a few onions cut in four, a few salmon filets and a can of black beer. Wait for an hour (or ten minutes in the express cooker). Voilà!

Wine carrots – Re-read the previous recipe. Replace salmon (that in Germany is expensive and not fresh anyway) with carrots, and the beer for a glass of white wine. Bon appétit!

Green salad with shrimps – Add in a salad bowl lettuce, tomato, cucumber, onion if you like, and peeled, cooked shrimps. During Christmas you can put the salad into an avocado for added effect. Be careful with the sauce! It is not easy to mix in the right proportions ketchup and mayonnaise.

Escalivada – For fans of the nouvelle cuisine, this is a twist on the classic chopped and fried vegetables. You basically cut the ingredients in bigger pieces and put them in the oven with oil instead, because, my child, when you are working you don’t have time for anything.

Paella – I do not have the recipe for this one, but I have a picture. You are welcome to reverse-engineer-it