paperwork

After working "extra officially" during the last two weeks, moving house and getting to know every baby shop in town, it is actually really nice to enjoy one day lying in our new Ikea couch, doing nothing, and praying that Daniel holds on a few more days inside so mummy can recover her energy.

There is only one little thing we still need to fix and that is paperwork. “Paperwork?” My mum asked, “it is easy”. The father gets a couple of days off and goes register the baby.

Well, not so easy in this case. We are not married and I'm Spanish, which means a bunch of extra paperwork and official translations in instances that ranges from the Spanish embassy in Prague to the registry in my home town and several governmental offices. And of course everything needs to be done in the proper order and in the proper place.

If you are thinking this is all happening because we waited till the last moment, you should know we actually started all this in December, but the complexity of bureaucracy in these matters is a well deserved tribute to Kafka.

To make things easy, first of all we tried unsuccessfully to get me a permanent residence. Only then you obtain a special number (rovne cislo) that is required by receptionists of hospitals and offices all over the country. Otherwise you are forced to explain every time that your passport doesn’t have a visa because of something called EU, and after a brief fight, surrender and promise with a smile that you will get a visa if she is so kind to proceed with the registration or paperwork.

The permanent residence idea failed because three different versions of our renting contract didn’t satisfy the kind employees of the foreign police office… and they take each time about a month to let you know. To make things easier, they don’t speak English and they insist on me taking personally the papers there. Any random person sending them by post is ok too. But this person cannot take them by hand to the office. That is not acceptable.

In other front, the multilingual copy of my birth certificate that was shipped from Spain didn't satisfy the Czech authorities, because Czech was not one of the eight languages of the translation, so we had to pay 80 Euros to get the translation translated to Czech. They charge per word, so, for example, the line that reads nom/name/nombre... etc, does not count as a single word. All of it needs to be translated to Czech.

We needed to get a paper from the Spanish embassy that "presumes I am single and alive" and that the lady in the Czech registry examined with not much confidence claiming we needed a second paper "coming directly from Spain". Because, for sure, in Spain can presume much more accurately that I'm alive.

Having two surnames added to the name of the baby is another fight on its own. We need to get a birth certificate with only one surname, and then present this in the Spanish embassy so the baby can be recognized as Spanish, to finally go back to the Czech authorities and modify the first birth certificate, claiming tradition as the reason. Of course, once the baby is a proud Spanish citizen has acquired a whole new set of traditions and can have two surnames.

There is an additional paper to be filled if you don't want an "ova" to be added to your daughter surname. We are not having a daughter, but since we were in the mood of filling papers anyway, we did it, just in case.

And by the way, finally we are decided about the name Daniel. This is maybe not too original, but at least is convenient. It is written exactly the same in Czech and Spanish and that means that the lady that approves the names in Czech Republic will not have problems to recognize it. Otherwise you may need to prove, copy of the bible in hand, that the name exists. Not kidding. I know a Spanish couple here that had to introduce Saint Jordi to the local authorities so they would bless their choice of first name.

Pregnancy symptoms: I'm a huge balloon and I cannot walk one metro stop without stopping and holding my belly. So I got myself a metro pass.

Mother instinct: Worries escalating as I read contradictory baby books. But I am not really sure we are talking mother instinct here

To bribe or not to bribe

I met today my new gynecologist. This is the one from the hospital where we are supposed to deliver the baby. And I have to say, it was love at first sight. He speaks English, he was friendly, and looked as professional as you can look in a short visit, which is a lot taking into account that my usual gynecologist once "forgot" I was pregnant.

The hospital itself looks quite reassuring as well. It is like a big baby factory, where even the check-ups are done in a chain basis. Sounds good to me. They only do babies, so they probably do it right. They also have some private rooms, so if you are lucky to have one available, daddy can share the joy of sleepless nights from day one.

Now the catch, of course. Turns out that if the hospital is too busy that day, even if you have a reservation (we do) you may be sent to some unfriendly post-communist spot in the outskirts of Prague where the doctors have to google before giving you the epidural. And the way to avoid it is to bribe some doctor or midwife in the baby factory.

I have no problems with bribing in this case. There is no much of a difference between this system and just going to a private clinic in Spain, but Martin seems to have some moral issues and is delaying the friendly talk with the doctor. Needless to say, I got all pregnant over it and said I don’t care what needs to be done, but if I am sent to a hospital without toilet paper I will just refuse to deliver, plus I will never forgive him and I will get the baby and run to Spain in the first chance. I think he got the point.

Pregnancy symptoms: Home-Center trip pre-pregnancy, 20 min, Home-Center trip now, 40 minutes.
Mother instinct: Nope. Just scared.