Naming the embryo

I think the guy that got me into this and I are experiencing denial. Faced with the uncountable issues that we should solve before the embryo develops lungs and fingernails, I say uncountable meaning that we don't know which issues we should solve, hence, we cannot count them. I was saying, faced with the need to find a proper nest and a not-too-terrifying hospital, we focus instead on the small insignificant details. Such as naming the embryo.

We shouldn't even get too attached to the embryo, at least until it is upgraded to fetus, but I guess we cannot avoid start looking at the options. Most women do this as soon as they meet a theoric partner anyway. And of course, as an international couple, there is a number of issues to consider. The surname, for example. It could be Knyr, Knyrova, or Knyr Rodriguez, the latest being the preferred one if we can convince Czech bureocracy that we are not joking. His mum thought we were joking. We are not. People in Spain has two surnames and my embryo is not going to have less.

Then the first name. It has to be Spanish, of course. My embryo cannot be called Rostislav Knyr. People would wonder if I bought it in Ukraine. However, not every Spanish name is acceptable. A boy's name cannot be ending in "o" because that sounds femenine in Czech. That eliminates, Antonio, Francisco, and other hundreds of options. We have to eliminate also anything that makes Czech people laugh. Jesus, for example. Don't ask me why it makes them laugh. And the guy that got me into this would like an international name. Nothing mexican-sounding, like Pedro or Carlos.

And finally, we need to put all of this together and make sure that name and surname goes fine, so the baby doesn't hate us when it grows up. Let's admit it, not many things go well with Knyr. And anything starting with K goes really bad. Like Kenny or Katka. So basically we don't have anything. It's terrible. But we will keep on thinking, since this topic diverse the attention from the need of a mortage, car, and a somehow mature life.

Pregnancy Symptons: All of them. Morning sickness the whole day. Pregnancy is a rather annoying thing so far.
Mother instinc: 2. Because giving the embryo names must count as mother instinct

Miracles in my belly

My pregnancy books just arrived. Since neither I nor the dude that got me pregnant had any idea of what to look for, I just went for the more scientific looking book I could find. Bullet points, diagrams and names of hormones. I discarded any volume where the word miracle was printed anywhere. Mating two members of the same species and different gender, both in reproductive age and permanent jobs is hardly a miracle.

I also discarded any book in pink colors, childish font and fluffy stuff. It is bad enough to read that you are likely to get hemorrhoids, to read it in comic sans over a violet background with a picture of a baby looking at you is masochism.

So well, I got my serious looking books and starting documenting myself about all those magic, amazing changes going on in my body. And what the book recommends to deal with the annoyance of these miracles? Homeopathy. Seriously. Homeopathy. In other words, water and sugar pills. Expensive water and sugar pills. But this is not the worst. The worst is that they advise to be careful with the dosage. Because… too many drops of water might… kill… you…?

Yes, I was shocked. People around me, however, seems to find this normal. Some people recommend also to massage the baby mentally and say babies that have it easy during labor are less ambitious as adults. Stop for a second. What is going on? These are educated people. Engineers. Atheists. Why is it about pregnancy that brings out the pseudo scientist we all have inside?

But of course, pregnancy is all about miracles. Maybe I should take those sugar pills, sit back and enjoy the placebo effect, waiting for the rules of physics to be violated as my belly grows.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swDpWNKB5Co&feature=related

Pregnancy symptoms: Discovered embryo doesn't like Big Mac
Mother instinct: Going down as I look at pictures of smalls heads going out of vaginas

Surprise, surprise!!

So yes, I have been months making jokes about having children and suddenly, quite suddenly in fact, I don't know what to say.
Our little "planned accident" caught us quite off guard.

We were supposed to be planning our trip to the Gobi dessert and instead we were visiting pharmacies in Moscow, first for a pregnancy test, then for a second pregnancy test, finally to get vitamins for pregnancy.

Then everything went too fast. The call to the gynecologist:
-It's not an illness, you can do normal life, it's all common sense
-Sushi?
-No
-Sauna?
-No
-Gobi dessert?
-Definitely not

I don't have common sense. At least not the kind of common sense that is expected from pregnant ladies. But of course, in the pregnancy world everything is pink and flower-ish and can make you puke more than the morning sickness. I don't have much of that. I only experienced it the morning I found out I was pregnant, but I'm sure I'm not the only one that cannot swallow a bite after such news.

Pregnancy symptoms: Urge to cry and say stupidities, hormones must be getting nuts
Mother instinct from 1 to 10: Zero, but urge to cry when presented homeless puppies. Hormones…
Belly status: Big, but I cannot blame the embryo for that